Random Thoughts of a Narcissistic Gay Man

I kept meaning to write a post to sum up 2011 but I will just have to do it tomorrow. All I can say from looking over the past year is that I am truly blessed. Sure, life isn’t perfect and I had my ups and downs but in the end, I am blessed with amazing people in my life, amazing family, I went to a place I had never been, shared in lots of love and spent quality time with those that mattered. I was lucky enough to still have my job, to still have opportunities and still have my life. So, yes, it’s not a perfect life, it wasn’t a perfect year, but in the end it is MY life, it was my year and I have grown from it :) Be safe my followers and friends because I love you all!

   Last night was a great reminder of how AWESOME my family is, not just my immediate family, but my cousins and aunt as well. We celebrated up at our ranch in Northern California and had a prime rib dinner followed by a live country band. Just after the clock hit 8 my cousin and I had been outside and noticed that it looked like it was snowing, but than I just figured, I had imagined it, well no more than an hour later it started to really come down, my cousins, Mom, Aunt and Brother ran around having snowball fights with everyone.

   As the night progressed I start to feel a little down, New Years, like Christmas and other holidays always seem to hurt a bit more when you are single but than when I would go outside for some fresh air, I was struck by the awesomeness and beauty of the falling snow. Something about watching it slowly dancing around me, the utter quiet of it, the cold wet kisses it left on my cheeks and eyelashes as it made contact with me, was like a little reassuring hug that all will be well.

   The evening had more drinks, more food and dancing. My cousin even taught me how to two step, which just made my day. I love watching the older couples two stepping around the dance floor, it is such a great dance in my eyes. When we went back to our campground my cousins and I continued with our snowball fights and even pulled out a sled and went down the hills surrounding our campground.

   I had read earlier this week on another blog that there is an old wives tale that says how you spend your New Years eve, is reflective of how the coming year will be. If that is the case, than I can expect a year of fun with the family, of stopping in awe at the little things, learning new things and lastly having one of the most memorable years of my life! 

2010 was the year that I decided to step outside of my box. I had always been a bit of a loner and decided to get more involved in the gay community. I had met a friend through a sort of ex who was putting on our local pride celebration for Sacramento. I emailed him in January to see if I could help out, I was hoping to meet more people and get out of my shell. What I didn’t expect, was to walk away with such AMAZING friends, to have had as much fun as I did and to truly start feeling comfortable in my skin. I learned that I have a lot to offer this world, though I am still not sure in which capacity that is :)

I have some high hopes for 2011, I will be getting another year older, wiser is still questionable, lol. I have some big things that I want out of 2011, some of them superficial, some of them a little deeper. One goal, is abs by my Birthday which would be March 23rd… do able? We shall see. I plan on focusing more on my health in a much more serious way. I plan on just being comfortable being me, I don’t need a guy next to me to feel great. But, if a special guy comes along, or decides to stay in my life, than I will be that much richer for it. I want to focus on my spirit, finding a sense of peace and celebrating that! I truly expect 2011 to be AMAZING and more importantly, not just for me but for all of my friends and family! Whether I know you in person, by blood, or through the internet, I wish you all all the happiness, success, and LOVE that you deserve!