Random Thoughts of a Narcissistic Gay Man

Do NOT drink a pot of coffee to yourself! Sweet Jesus I feel like a stick of dynamite!!!

   So, I know that I ramble on about how much I hate being single, but I learned my lesson last night. I was at the bar for Showtune Tuesday, which happens to be one of my new favorite nites of the week, my friends hadn’t arrived yet, so I was out on the back patio have a smoke watching the music videos and this guy walks up to me and starts talking about Glee. At first glance, he was kind of cute, but than I noticed his mannerisms, he seemed a bit awkward and than his … aroma hit me. It smelled like Homelessness and tons of cologne. Yuck! Thank God that dude only talked to me for a minute or so before I was saved by my lovely friend Jake. We made our escape back into the bar, after jake lectured me about smelling like smoke and told me not to touch him… queen.

   Yet, apparently crazy doesn’t get subtle… dude came into the bar and kept yammering on and on to me while Jake was at the bar. All I kept thinking was, if he touches me I’m screaming RAPE! He did the cliche get to know you talk, “What’s your name? How old are you? I like your v neck…” All of which I smiled and answered and was even a little delighted that someone liked my shirt! LOL. I LOVES me some v necks!

   Anyway, needless to say my creepy mister made cameos throughout the night, though I do think he finally got the vibe that I was not feeling it. It must have been my much to obvious look of disgust when I noticed that he was only 30 and was missing teeth…. And just so Karma doesn’t come back and bite me in my sadly under used ass lol, I hope among most hopes that crazy finds someone that makes him happy because after all, isn’t that what were all wishing for?

While standing outside of a store today a young guy comes up to me and says “Hey, boss, I got some cologne samples. You like to impress the ladies, dontcha?” Yeah, swing and a miss buddy, swing and a miss. ROFL.

p.s. the baseball references could keep me laughing if I kept going with this… LOL

So my twin has two adorable kiddos, Aidan and Emily, they are so freaking cute and SO opposite that it is just a mixture for funny stories. Today, Twin texts me to inform me that she told the kiddos that I may be going to the snow with them this weekend. They were super excited mostly because they want to see me in snow gear or from what I can gather, more specificaly a snow hat…. So she showed them my facebook where I have pictures of me in all my snow gear AND most important my snow hat.

   While they are going through some of my pictures they come across one of a rainbow that says “It get’s better” Well, the kids were curious as to why Anthony has rainbows on his facebook? Does he like rainbows? Twin, kind of gives them a brief intro into gay culture to try to explain that Anthony is “gay” meaning he likes boys and the rainbow is symbolic for gay people or some such explanation. I am not sure on the specifics and I am sure that had to be a funny situation in general. 

   The kids seemed a little unsure about this. The funniest thing is that Aidan acts years beyond his age, he is extremely mature, serious and just a funny kid. He reminds me so much of me sometimes when twin talks about him I find it scary. So, I am positive that the kid fully understands the whole gay thing, as well as is worried about me going through hate crimes and the injustice of the whole equality debate.

   Now Emily…. is your typical kid, she is so innocent, so funny, so carefree, I love hearing about her. She on the other hand walked away from the conversation and came back with something just for me. She colored and cutout a rainbow, apparently all she got from the conversation was that I really like rainbows! God I love these kids :)

So, we had a free lunch at work today and one of the things that they had was fried chicken, well… I picked up my piece of chicken only to exclaim “Eww! My chicken still has freaking feathers!” I figure it was either say that or vomit all over. I am not that country to think that feathers still on my food is okay. Needless to say, i skipped on that piece of chicken but couldn’t bring myself to eat anymore. I seriously ponder giving up meat. It tends to gross me the hell out when I think about it…. Bleh!

   So, I have kind of been putting off talking about a certain someone but I think at this point it is safe to…. I went on a date Sunday with a new guy that I met online. He is in such a better place in life than Rockstar. He has his things together, he is mature, he is funny, caring, trust me the list goes on and on. Anywho, so we had been talking for about a week when we decided to get together for coffee.

   Now, let me just say, that I am a strong believer that ALL first dates should be drinks, whether it be meeting for coffee, a beer, etc. because if the date isn’t what you thought it would be, it is short enough that you can finish your drink and call it a night, but the best part is when it is going good, you can always suggest continuing on to lunch or dinner. So lets call him IT guy, lol. So IT tells me to meet him at this one Starbucks and gives me the address. So, I head over (just a 30 min drive, totally within dating distance considering I drive as far as an hour to the gym lol) and decide to head inside to wait. So I am waiting and I get a text 

“I’m here” “Cool, are you still in your car?” “No, I’m inside” Well I know that I have been sitting in front of the door the whole time and I looked around when I got there and NOBODY looked anything like him. So I say “Um, I am at the right address right? I think I might be at the wrong one.” So before I can say anymore he calls, which is funny because up until this point we had only IM’d and texted. “My bad, I went to the wrong starbucks, I will be right there”

   Whew, that made me feel better and just started the date off on a such a light funny note. Needless to say, IT is drop dead gorgeous and the best part is that he finds me just as attractive, which just always makes me blush. The best part was that no more than 5 minutes into the date he wanted to know if I wanted lunch too, so that was a good sign. The only bad part was that after lunch we wanted to do something more, but I could not for the life of me come up with anything so we rainchecked it and I learned, when dating ALWAYS have a backup plan, lol. Also, if you are wondering, yes, second date confirmed, well confirmed right after the first one, we are hanging out tomorrow. :D

“Um, excuse me, I have never bought skinny jeans before, exactly how tight are you supposed to wear them?” “As tight as possible.” This was my question and the response I got from the wonderful GAP employee. Yes, I finally did it. I had to see if I could pull off the skinny jean. I had gone shopping this afternoon with my Mom and we were both taking some risks. She was going to try the sweater dress look that seems to be making a comeback and I the skinny jean. I must say that both of us walked away pleased. For once, you can see every little curve of my body and realize that 1) that boy really does have an ass and 2) he really isn’t fat :D I am off to hang out with Twin tonight, we will see what she has to say on this new look. I also got 2 sweaters, I am loving that military style that is coming back in shirts, I love that it shows off my shoulders :D AND that my dear friends is enough Narcissism even for muah! ;)

Just went to the restroom for the first time since getting to work at 530 a.m. only to realize that my fly has been down all morning… that must be why I have been getting the extra smiles and occasional wink LOL. Good thing I wore boxers today  otherwise I might have been called into HR…LOL.

1. Just realized that my GPOYW was actually posted on Thursday… I got my days confused after realizing that today was in fact Friday.

2. I can NOT get this nasty ass dog pee smell out of my room. Freaking dog! I love him to bits but he is about to be placed in a hampster ball, he pisses he drowns… he shall learn.

3. After getting lectured by not only my brother and my Mother I am truly starting to wonder if I CAN/SHOULD date someone that is my brothers friend? Also realized that in past relationships I have taken the more masculine role… Which isn’t what I ever wanted but now leaves be with wondering? How am I supposed to be pursued? Oh God, I hate F*cking dating games.

4. I am hungry

5. I love Christmas music and have already begun to listen to it…. Suck it you ba hum buggers :P

6. I also want to learn how to play acoustic guitar… and sing. There is nothing sexier than a good singer except a good singer that can play an acoustic guitar and look super sexy. LOL